I’m thinking about the issues I have with break-ups, or major fall-outs, between people I love. The average person, I find, has harsh words loaded with valuable insight locked in their heart, before such a D-Day commences. The words are often loaded with the culprit’s best and well-constructed truths. I suppose it is like that because the truth hurts, be it factual, or subjective and emotional. How the other person came short of expectations, trial times the person let down or betrayed the other, or maybe just certain character traits that the initiator has found distasteful upon discovery. In some sense, unless the person is truly a saint, truly naïve, or a child, it seems we all have a subconscious ammo dump hidden within us. Only a human heart knows how to hurt another’s so well.
It’s a pity, because the raw information we use to insult one another is not only for insults. I have seen it bleed out and fashioned into instruments to help, and heal, when the “other person” breaks down, or is injured either physically or in their soul.
I wish for a world where this happens out of choice, not just necessity. When clouds blot out every light in the sky, be it from our sun, or the celestial night sky (with its gentle moonlight and distant stars), we don’t remember just the clouds, when the winds change it. There is a silver lining to each cloud. I want to thank whatever processes created my will, to keep the silver, rather than the dimensions and texture of each cloud.
We impede ourselves and thwart the value of the silver, when we focus on negative choices of our own, or others. It degrades the individual themselves, no matter how well they “won” the argument, and remain blind to the scars they inflicted on themselves in the process. Such self-degradation, happens usually through ignorance, not malice. It is hardly ever the wish of anyone, and should be avoided. So arm yourself with compassion when you learn truths of other people, and keep vigil on your decisions that involve them.
We live differently, but we bleed and die, just like everyone else. It’s vanity and a sore neglect of character, being capable of higher thought, to reduce a time of happiness to rubble. That’s a very common habit of many who are going through what I just described. If you are seeking, ever, to hurt another person in such a way, it will always backfire. Every kill-shot has an undergrowth of ramifications. Time and honest self-awareness will shed light on this if nothing else will.
Some say they “don’t care” and continue. I wrote this article to share my observation that it is better to attend to and draw a new roadmap, than burn a bridge to somewhere you once loved, a place you found value in. But if you do decide to, enjoy the warmth while it lasts: it’s all you’ll get out of it.
6/3/23
The Humble Rock Dove 