The Humble Rock Dove

I’m human. (Written 6th March ’23)

I am a living human life with all the bliss, beauty, highs, lows, enthrallment, and challenges that are inherent with one such form of life like this. As many others echo the chant “I am different”, as it may seem, lurks in the shadow

because instead of a flashlight or headlight, I employ a laser. A laser can pinpoint and detect and melt objects (depending on the caliber and strength). As alone as I am, the light from elsewhere is my guide. It has been, and God willing shall remain illuminated and central throughout the journey of my mortal shell.

Challenges come almost daily. The “almost”, a factor in assuming wellness and functionality in places where there are none. Each day at dawn, A one “track” mind symptom. A shaky embrace with reality comes, and I feel the warmth as if it were body-heated and my soul was shivering with anemia. The pallid blue expanse of my formless mind retaliates against my inner child. It revolts, and even becomes hostile to that beyond its understanding. In truth and in health, it would be a vain pursuit to cleanse this state of living with

 With the admission of my limitations, comes humility. I get handed down lessons in such humility from quiz shows, attempts at sport, and most viscerally in the form of punishing loss of mistakes. Big mistakes. When you make them long enough as I have, almost every verbal utterance seems wrong, vulgar, even criminal at times. A criminal within me, resides. Life’s lessons teach little, lest my mind open and pop out!

 Poking through the undergrowth, with mock pride, upon burial mounds of suppressed and extinguished fears, that were once proud and demanding.

My eyes are shut,

But I open my mouth to sing,

And, so, no words come out,

I’m paralysed,

But can’t you hear me trying?

Can’t you hear me trying?

Because of you,

Because of the glory,

Of just being alive,

And unable to tell my story.

I heard you cry,

I can hear you crying.

Too unstable to listen.

But cant you see me trying?

And you’ll say to your friends,

That I’m too stupid to speak.

But I won’t change now,

Although I’ll try,

To climb another peak.

My time on earth, well,

It continues on,

Will I be begging for more,

When the reaper comes?