This version of Eternal Return is simultaneously the most “free” (from responsibility and labour), and yet misunderstood and ostracised. I also have good reason to believe none of “us”, within me, have experienced this depth of heartbreak within.
All my life has been made of unfurling patterns. Trust me, please, when i say that, as of right now, Richard is curious as to what will happen, and what the black wolfcub will be able to do.
Right now, in my “mental health center”, where i am for having no issues except being unusual, and holding strange beliefs i have had, and refuse to give up, since my early 20s. Japan is easily the most exciting place I am aware of. I will try to explain: there is a core, beneath the layers of heart and soul, which contains distilled spirit. That is how i feel when i encounter a work of great Japanese potency. And your land is so abundantly rich of these things.
I want to express concerns about the potential of overlap between this life and the next. I’m very, very aware i am incompatable as it stands, for life in your land and within your society. When i consider how far away from Japanese ideals, I feel rotten to some degree, but i have also tossed away, in this life, things just to get on with business to try and get things done and tied up before march.
You should be knowledable and aware of how strange it is for an irish to “respawn” over there, with you. But it’s the mark of something far deeper than typical human desire.
Rather than finding any satisfaction in this life from any values i had, i am basically a spent, bloated corpse floating downstream, getting softly mocked and serenaded on each side of the river.
Such is the ignorant and boorish way of the tribesmen of this land. Again, I join in at most given opportunities, but i have never felt totally at ease here, again on that “different level”.
It’s approching the day and hour where i will soon be making my statement on life, and show these rotten ilk how much i “love” and “appreciate” them. Just like they never did for me. Perhaps it was courtesy, but this was a life where, as i slid down the tube, the walls were too wide and far away to touch, or too slippery and vague to grab.
I dont think that learning japanese would be of benefit in this current life form. Instead, for my time remaining here, i shall remain as true as possible to my inner spirit, virtues, and so on and so forth.
See you soon enough.
The Humble Rock Dove 