The Humble Rock Dove

I make this blog post on the back of winning a battle against being legally titled schizophrenic.

I now lay down the title I adopted as a shield against your title of schizophrenia.

Gnostic.

First I explain why Gnostic was relevant. Post enlightenment and pre-pain, pre-fever of the start of this month, I had experiences, felt and seen, documented, painted, made narrative or Creative-expressive youtube videos to all who wanted into my life, expressing interest, and not just talk at or try to change the course of.

Thinking became irrelevant. Sure I’d done everything vital, from eat, sleep, socialise, talk about TV or people things plenty enough to suit its purpose. All of these things became irrelevant to any notion of conscious thought. What happened me, and things like sleeping and eating, and a huge boost to my physical endurance, as well as the natural way the divine experiences found their own outlets, and expressed themselves best in what is best described as an AUTOMATIC way. I feel the term Gnosis was and is still, the best term to put as THE foundation for the tree of experiences that became my whole life. I’m told Gnosis is one of those words that help people to describe such interaction with the divine. I also believe the Gnostic Gospels, like any of the other monotheisms or paganism do. But standard christianity does not. I remember my reasoning on heading to the route of fixedly becoming Gnostic, (at least for a time) the moment I felt the Holy Spirit at age 27. I took this extremely seriously and threw down my church bible of old and new testaments the moment I finished reading John. “I’m going to put you on hold” I said to Paul’s unbelievable achievement of both writing half the new testament, while simultaneously saying his works are (spoken in crude, marketplace Greek) a strong term for dung. John is commonly seen as the disciple Jesus loved. The one he presents his own mother as “this is your mother” to on the cross. So how this gospel ends: that there would not be enough books in the world to hold or record all Jesus did. I packed my still fresh experience over to more about Jesus Christ, rather than the man Paul… Stuff…. And laws.

So it turns out, the history of Gnosticism is the history of the greatest heartache. Like the Cathars starting the Crusades, for goodness sakes. This is why, for the longest time I kept my title for me as “Christian Gnostic”. It seems in practice throughout history, the Gnostics of all persuasions were not good for the church, or society at large. So why keep how I define myself?

By keeping everything I know relevant to Christ, from all sides, from all faiths, accepting Bibles as “not irrelevant any time soon”, recognising that the old testament laws (the first FIVE books) are a huge problem to mankind, and with it the sad tales of wrath as failure to do any of the 613 laws becomes innevetable. I also became Christian Gnostic, as, most importantly, the biggest test was passed, praying with a heart newly purified and with the Holy Spirit freshly residing in, I could, through prayer this way, remain clear that MANY of these do indeed seem to be direct records of the Lord Jesus Christ.

So by the standpoint of taking as much as I could on Jesus to heart, then praying over it for being sorted in terms of valuable truth, useful truth at the front, and anything else, right down to “disgusting and repugnant lie” or just “useless and irrelevant”. Much of what I read in the Gnostic scriptures stuck, and to this day interest me more than Paul’s churches of, men and their laws, churches and their walls, bodies etc.

Here: I use enough detail to describe why I was Gnostic, on my own, not speaking to any other Gnostics (in fact avoiding them like a disease) but with a newly purified heart accepting many of the Gnostic Gospels as more valuable than Paul’s writings.

I also accept the full validity of the existence of other Gods, in the rightly-held beliefs and in the hearts of the believers with genuine experience with these Gods, as also Holy.

Although everything has an order of importance based on being PRAGMATIC WITH INTENT, to whatever the Goals are (Holy or not) I nonetheless say that the GODS all people fully believe in, and have had Holy experiences with, do indeed exist. And unlike the vast majority of monotheists, like Christianity, like Islam, like Judaism, no, I don’t think you’ll go to a firey pit of hell, frozen bottom of lake, or whatever Sheol is in the old testament, forever. We have three main monotheisms on earth shedding enough blood from each other throughout history, to rival their size in growth.

All of this I despise, just as much as how fractured, divided, warped and saltless Christianity has become. I say this with clean conscience with Full belief all I say and do is in the sight of a heavenly host. So, in the name of everything holy spoke about, especially in the Trinity, Especially in full sight of the lord Jesus Christ, I bring this talking about my Gnosticism to a close, for now.

Amen.