In a way, the stress, and the ringing sensation that is causing it, purifies whatever is going on in my mind. Not too many thoughts get past it without being interrogated, which is good. Without stress and strain, how else can a brain or a muscle of the body, grow?
November was definitely the gold standard for peace of mind, within myself. I had peace in areas of my mind that I didn’t know existed, or were under this strain. I heard my injection can take up to a full 72 hours to process all across the body. That’s a short enough time to hear, when the disruption and discomfort takes on this form. One time I endured this, accompanied by a dreaded “additional monologue”. These would often start with me referring to myself in third-person terms. Then the “you” as in “You should put that back on the shelf”, rather than said in my own, familiar tone of mental voice, it would come bearing a slight aura, field, or space around it, that is unfamiliar to me.
I won’t go back any further than that, or go over old events such as it, again. I will, however, go over the most recent wonder: November. What did I manage to get done over November? My mind goes to a handful of places.
YouTube – the first port of call. Here I uploaded, on average, one or two videos a day. There was no awkward feeling in being just myself, on camera during the day, or the night. I make the distinction, because I am a night-owl; that is, I come alive most, between the hours of five to seven o’clock PM. “This has gotta be locked and linked in to the mass-consciousness,” I think about that sometimes. Five PM to seven PM – that’s when there’s an awful lot of people in my time zones (or close), who will be clocking off and going home to put the kettle on. That’s a very simple form of reason I would feel this way, surely, as you really would have to be ignorant indeed, to believe there is no mass-consciousness at work too, somewhere.
The next port of call is twofold: First fold: I got an undeniably comfortable, functional gaming chair. When paired with the hybrid gel/memory foam cushion, there becomes very little reason or desire to get off it.
The second fold is called: good food. I noticed this, right, when a nice breezy shirt in a size down from the one I’m wearing now, “didn’t quite fit right” like it used to. The lead culprit here is definitely the high-quality square burgers I was making. Lone daily meal or not: maybe this is an indulged temptation best left dialled down low.
I settled a lot of debt during November too. I was checking my credit scores, and asking AI and customer helplines, to explain credit systems and mortgages to my uneducated mind, on the topic. That’s definitely a positive. If building a credit score and the potential to get a real good house with a mortgage, it will prove to myself that I really can be trusted with important things. I’ll gain some self respect, probably, that I’ve always owed myself.
The Humble Rock Dove 