Ten past 11pm, 27th March 2026
I am spiritual and quasi-religious by nature, and to me, energies I pick up on, or which fill me are various kinds, and amplitudes, of sacred. The world wont accept a holy man fighting demons off with his voice, and speaking of the spirit realm with a “portion of his mind”, he says. However that same society can treat such a man as myself, the one I am describing, as mentally ill, and you know what? Sometimes I am. Overall, I cant deny the damage of playing with these worlds has done to me. So what happens the burnt out magician, mystic, or deep-end spiritualist when they get burnt out? In my case, I get sidelined to hospitals and shared, accommodation for people battling all sorts of issues of their own, no matter how high-stakes they are or aren’t. My oldest battle with my mind is the feeling of lethargy, this heavy weighing down of my energy, and having it drained, and sapped off. It often accompanies grief. This mood and/or mode or mindset has been my nemesis since I got put on antipsychotics, in my early 20s. It comes and goes, randomly.
Fast forward to today, and I’m back in slouch after slouch, or wave after wave of tiredness that I did not invite. I’m fighting it, and the stomach that comes with long-term reliance on antipsychotic meds, in whatever way I can. I walk and I walk, briskly. In 20 mins of a speed that says “id love to stay and chat but not right now” (or ever), it feels good, I feel the energy in my body, circulate, and thank me for being in the great outdoors.
I’m naturally an outcast/ loner guy. Most of the time it doesn’t bother me. So when I’m alone, usually gaming on my PC or a console, and my life seems a little unbalanced, I take what Im putting into my body quite seriously. I’ve been through as many supplements as there are letters of the alphabet, I bet. There’s two with tangible benefit and effect: lions mane mushroom, and a branded product called pineal pollen, which I might go put in my coffee right now!
The Humble Rock Dove 