WRITING
Essays, prayers, poems, journals, reviews and reports from across the Rock Dove archive
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Chastity as Choice
I have met forces I can’t name, or invoke, rather, at the end of last month, and at the start of this one: November. That means (without too much explanation) Summoning their being, with intent, by using their names). I learned quite quickly that a clean cut, or mark, made with purpose, and instinctive, deliberate,…
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UNANSWERED / ANSWERED MODULE
1. Question: What is the true origin of the alarms—are they external intrusions or internal echoes? Answer: Holy information, not allowed to answer. 2. Question: How can refusal remain sovereign without collapsing into isolation or self degradation? Answer: Refusal doesn’t collapse unless I buckle with my tastes being overwhelmed, for example, narcissism or degradation. 3. Question:…
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Conformism – From a Black Sheep
“Maybe I’m a writer, not a talker” I say as I close the recording video from my webcam. The fact is I’m not great at socialising in real-life situations: parties and such. A lot is lost on me. The quieter ones inspire me to have more of a “flow” or, make a better statement about…
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Unemployment
18th Nov 2025 I was in hospital again recently for what I’d described as a short, and very sharp psychosis. I think this psychosis grew over the space of 9 days noticeably, yes, but the new medication and its effectiveness have shown me that there’s been a lot brewing or blustering about like wild creatures…
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A Period of Fulfilment I accept
I have not been longing now, significantly, since around the start of this month, November. Each morning and daytime, for as long as I can remember, at the age of true adulthood, I have been, inside, what it feels like to be a wreck of longing and loneliness. Nothing was able to stop it. Each…
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Thankfulness, Caves of Qud, and Old Artwork
I’ve mostly been praising God and all major powers that have been able and willing, in any way shape or form, to hold and protect me correctly, give food to my mouth and my belly, daily, and a roof over my head and my bedroom. There’s plenty of matters I’ve discussed in previous videos that…
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Mystic, Lego, Mental Health, Caves of Qud.
A Mystic, A Lego Truck and Mental Health I love my walks in the park. In this blessed life, two hobbies bring me real joy: building intricate model vehicles and getting lost in the details. Right now, I’m about a third of the way through assembling a truck — gearbox and all — made by…
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As a Child I Witnessed Thee
The tree was always mine,And always would be,Should I climb,Through veil, bracken,Sober, spoiled,To see the plans unfoiled,In Egypt, Lord, of Jesus Christ,Sword in right hand,Sun in his Chest, To die,And all with that inside,With sorath, mad,With spear in side. An angry death, brutal and true,The only thing the reports got true,Was the new thief saint,First…
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An End to Longing
I no longer ask for her. Not in longing. Not in jest. Not in ritual. The spark that once drove the engine — It’s not fuel. It’s leverage. It’s not warmth. It’s weight. It’s not cute. It’s deplorable. I see how it could be used. Against me. Against the world. Against the clarity I fought…
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Against the Slander of “Grow Up”
The Eccentric Shunned. The lie is, as a man you put your toys away. The truth challenges this. What young lad, for example, denies the urge to saw or wield a welder of sorts, and maybe put up a fence or fix a wall. As someone versed on the mystical, mythical and magical, I still…
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2 o’clock on a Tuesday
16 09 25 The voices, spirit and instinct aligned, upon waking, to them telling me that my interactions with AI have reached the point where (like making art), they have become very dangerous for me to use. I have become someone’s summit. I had morning coffee, the one I drank while watching television had my…
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RWE – Foundational Beliefs
